#1 'MY WORDS MATTER'
A blog by - Ink - 13 years
February 2023
Hello! My name is Ink, I am a 13-year-old trans male and go by he/him pronouns! This blog is about my experience with having a stuttering disorder and how it impacts my daily life in multiple different ways.
". maybe they were right, and I was weird or not normal."
My stutter started to show up when I was taught how to speak and my first memories of stuttering were around kindergarten. I was bullied from a young age for having a stutter and because of the bullying, I have had thoughts that maybe they were right, and I was weird or not normal, like they said. No child should ever have thoughts like that, especially in the younger grades. Bullying has had a large impact on my mental and physical health, and there have been and still are times that I don’t feel safe going to school. Stuttering and bullying has stopped me from putting my hand up to speak in classes, doing oral presentations, group activities, speaking to teachers, and even not being able to go to school at all because of my anxiety and past bullying.
"I refuse to be silenced – my voice, my words and my thoughts matter".
While I still struggle with all of these obstacles, I refuse to let them get me down, and I refuse to be silenced – my voice, my words and my thoughts matter. I wish that people understood that I can’t just stop stuttering in a week or a month, and maybe not even in years. This is with me every day. Some days are better than others, and I am not in control of this; just doing ‘normal’ things, like going to school, is incredibly hard, and it can be very soul destroying when people expect me to ‘deal with things’ like everyone else. I wish that everyone could live through my eyes for at least a day and see how frustrating and exhausting it is to live with a stutter all your life and be expected to come to school every day, and repeat the same information over and over, and everyone nods and says the right things, yet nothing changes.
"I have found my own pace; I know my limits ."
Right now, my goal is to focus on myself, grow at my own pace and be comfortable with myself. Although all these obstacles aren’t going away any time soon; I will continue to try my hardest to overcome them and be who I want to be. I have grown so much in confidence, and while my experiences have not been great, they have made me strong and determined. While I have been quiet and passive before, now I speak up, and make people listen. Because I do have something to say. And even though I’m more confident, I still have bad days; I have a lot of bad days where I feel like I’m worthless and should give up on myself and just want to stay home for the day because school is too much. But that isn’t mean I don’t try; I try every day to challenge myself in my own way. I have found my own pace; I know my limits and if that’s what I’m comfortable with I think that is all that matters.
STUTTERING: THE MYTHS
Stuttering is a psychological disorder - wrong!
Stuttering is caused by differences in the way neurones work in the speech area of the brain. Over time stutterers can develop anxiety issues as a result of their speech difficulties. Stuttering often runs in families.
A stutterer should stutter all the time and on every word - incorrect!
Like any physical disorder, stuttering can have good and bad days. Stuttering can become more severe due to tiredness, illness and changes in emotional states.
Stuttering is a habit that can be broken if they choose - wishful thinking!
Stuttering is a neurological condition not a behaviour. Stutterers develop certain patterns of speaking, to try and prevent their stutter. but the underlying difficulty is not a habit
Stuttering is caused by emotional trauma untrue!
Emotional problems are a product of stuttering and certainly a trauma can trigger stuttering, where a person already has a weakness in this area of the brain
You can outgrow stuttering - close!
Stuttering occurs in around 5% of children between the ages of 2-6 years. This is usually caused by rapid development in the speech areas of the brain. Only 1% will go on to stutter throughout their life.
Stutterers are shy and lack confidence - false!
Stuttering is not related to personality and temperament. Stutterers can be assertive and confident in many aspects of their life despite being hesitant about speaking up in certain situations.
STUTTERING: DO'S AND DONT'S
DON'T:
Try to finish their sentences - the signal is on it's way to the facial muscles, they can't stop it
Predict the words for them
Talk over the top of them
Mimic them
Ask invaliding questions e.g. why don’t you stutter on every word?
DO:
Include them in conversations / ask their opinion Be patient and wait for them to finish
Give them the same attention as a nonstutterer Focus on them when they are talking so they know you are listening
Treat them with respect, think about your facial expressions.